September 3, 1998 and had their first child on
December 29, 2014. RITA OKONOBOH
chronicles the couple's journey through the
years of trials to the unfolding of boundless
blessings.
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to
me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the
slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my
feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to
stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn
of praise to our God. Many will see and fear
the LORD and put their trust in him (Psalm 40:
1-3).
The above Psalm verses aptly describe Mrs
Tunrayo Alagbe's testimony of the Lord's
goodness as she finally gave birth to a
daughter at a few months shy of 60 years of
age.
It was a sunny afternoon on Monday, January
5, 2015, and the atmosphere was radiantly
purpled by the stylish outfits of many who had
come to witness the naming ceremony of the
lovely daughter of the Alagbes. The crowd was
surprisingly large, even for the African setting,
as many braced the burning rays beating down
on the premises of the Women Missionary
Union (WMU) headquarters of the Nigerian
Baptist Convention (NBC), Total Garden area,
Ibadan, just to show their solidarity with the
couple.
As the President of the NBC, Reverend Dr
Supo Ayokunle, affirmed during his address at
the naming ceremony, "This child has, from
the beginning, started breaking records. I have
never seen a naming ceremony that attracted
this kind of crowd. Also, no naming ceremony
has been conducted on the premises before
now. This goes to show that God can do
anything, anytime, anywhere and anyhow,
pleasantly, for his own people. For those who
wait upon God, it is never over until it is over.
This is an occasion for us to understand that
God's ways are not our ways."
The Retired Executive Director, Women
Missionary Union, Nigeria, and a close friend
of the family who anchored the naming of the
baby, Reverend Mrs Yemi Ladokun, took the
audience through the time of waiting. She
showed to the crowd some flowers from the
bouquet used during the wedding and stated
that she had kept the flowers thinking she
would use them during the year after the
wedding during the naming ceremony of a
child but she was wrong as she had to wait for
almost 17 years.
The child was given close to 40 names
including, Halleluyah, Testimony, Esther,
Jesulayomi, Ileri-Ayo-Mi, OkikiJesu, Adepate,
Oluwatoyin, Omoronike, Ibiyemi, Oluremi,
Motunrayo, Mo-F'Oluwa-ke, Aderonke,
Odunola, Eri-Ipe, Ewa-Iyin, Itan-iyanu-ife,
IturaOluwa, Favour, Oluwadamilare,
Titilayomi-niwaju-Oluwa, among other
significant names.
Speaking with Sunday Tribune on the
experience during the years of anxiety, Mrs
Alagbe noted that the many years of worrying,
coupled with the delay before marriage,
contributed to making the experience quite
worrying. According to her, "I wouldn't say we
were not worried, but God was comforting and
encouraging us. It was not a pleasant
experience at all. We experienced delay
before marriage but this one was more
excruciating. However, God sustained us."
On the most nagging worry during the times of
trial, the couple notes that the African
tendency to look down on a childless couple
was a constant source of concern. According to
the mother, "In Africa, having children is very
important. If you're married and childless, it's
like you have no honour, no respect, no place.
You're nobody, so to speak."
The father, Paul Alagbe, further stated that
"She would sometimes say if she had known
that it would be like this, she would not marry
me as it seems like she is a problem to me."
His wife affirmed this by stating that
"Medically, I was told he has no problem, but I
was the one whose fallopian tubes were
blocked. I felt like I was a burden to him, like I
shouldn't have come his way and instead
allowed him to live his life."
The president of the NBC, Reverend Ayokunle,
who spoke on challenges and godly responses
noted that nobility and godliness does not
immune an individual from trials. According to
him, "Childlessness is not a modern-day
challenge. The fact that your family is childless
does not mean you are married to the wrong
person. Some couples who do not have the
problem of childlessness have other problems.
Would you rather exchange childlessness for
blindness, for instance? A problem is a
problem but God is always there."
On her general outlook during the period of
not knowing how things would turn out, Mrs
Alagbe, whom many describe as cheerful,
warm and always ready with a smile, narrated
"I kept hoping. I cherished my personal
relationship with God because I know that the
day you die, this issue of having children no
longer has meaning. So, I was jealously
guarding my personal relationship with God,
especially in relation to eternity. I tried to
enjoy other things God has blessed me with.
Although, I was often disturbed by that one
thing he had not done, I tried to enjoy what he
has done and in my own little way, I served
him, hoping He will do it. I thought that if He
doesn't do it, He knows why and knows how to
sustain me. That's also why I didn't visit all sort
of places because I know that if I eventually
get a child from the wrong source and I end up
in hell, what use will it be? Besides, God
encouraged me that He will do it and I trusted
in His promise."
Her husband, Mr Alagbe, was not also without
his own troubles. According to him, he was
constantly reminded about the need to take
the alternative option by getting a second wife.
This was further hinged on his position as the
only surviving male child of his family. As Mr
Alagbe puts it, "We were six in my family; four
of them died and it was just me and my sister
left. All my siblings who died did not have any
children and there was pressure on me as the
only surviving male to have a child. However, I
was convinced by my faith not to do anything
negative."
Mrs Alagbe, who started treatment in early
2014, was confirmed pregnant in April 2014
and the reaction of the couple when the news
first broke is too much to sufficiently capture
in words.
"I didn't believe it. It didn't have much
meaning to me. It was like I was dreaming.
However, as time went on, I saw it becoming a
reality. I just kept thanking God because He
said He will do it according to his promise in
Psalm 40. I know that this miracle is for God's
name to be glorified and for the hope of
people to be reawakened so that they believe
that God still works miracles. God never
comes too late," Mrs Alagbe stated.
For Mr Alagbe, his reception of the good news
was almost unbelievable. In his words, "It was
like a dream. I kept asking myself if it was
true."
While echoing the joy of motherhood, Mrs
Alagbe stated that "I just praise God. I'm
delighted that God kept his word. In January
2013, there was a prophecy in our church that
God will do it. Several people came to me and
told me to hold on to that prophecy because it
was for me. In addition to what others had
been telling me, and the support I received,
especially from my church, El-Shaddai Baptist
Church, Pastor Mrs Olateju and many people, I
am happy that God has been faithful to His
word."
'You can still help people even in your own
sorrow'
While acknowledging that going through
childlessness is no trivial task, Mrs Alagbe
advises couples in this situation to guard their
relationship with God whatever the eventual
outcome. As she points out, "Even if at the end
of the day, God doesn't do it, it is to the
advantage of the couple. I reached that stage
where I told God that if He doesn't do it, I'm
okay with His decision because He knows what
is best for me.
My advice is that they should hold on to God
and ensure that their personal relationship
with God stands. They should also do other
things to serve God because when you serve
God, you are not likely to be too sorrowful and
you'll be happy to meet the needs of others
and minister to people. Couples should not
aimlessly trust God but anchor on a verse on
the Bible and trust the eventual manifestation
of God's word. They should also help others.
You can still help people even in your own
sorrow. When you minister to the needs of
people, your burden is lightened.
The couple shouldn't become so averse to
others as if barrenness is the only problem in
the world. Afterall, God has done other things
that they can enjoy and appreciate. Let them
hold on to God."
Mr Alagbe, affirmed by friends and church
members to be a friend of children and who
also teaches children in the church, advises
couples in the situation to ensure that they are
not hostile to people, especially children, no
matter how hard it seems.
In his advice for men who are currently
undergoing the challenge of childlessness and
who, like him, had been advised to take a
second wife, Mr Alagbe encourages them to
fear God, stating that "If they go for more
wives, they are asking for more problems. The
best thing is to hold on to God and see beyond
the immediate situation. Right from time, I
knew there was a problem but I also
considered what the situation would be if I was
the one who had the problem."
The couple attempted to relive the priceless
memory of viewing the child for the first time.
For Mr Alagbe, "There was anxiety at the time
of delivery. I read Tribune newspapers a lot
and I had read something about a similar case
in which the operation was not successful and I
kept thinking about it. But when I saw the
baby, I almost cried. I was very happy."
For Mrs Alagbe, "I was just happy. I don't know
the words to use. I was excited. I was thrilled
that the baby had come at last. I had her
through Caesarian section at Vine Branch
Medical Centre and at the theatre, when they
told me 'this is your baby; it's a perfect baby,' I
wanted to scream and say 'Wow! So this is what
was in my womb!' I lack words to explain. Even
though I was in pains, I couldn't sleep
throughout that day. I was just looking at her
and I kept saying to myself, 'So this is you I
have been waiting for. Where did you hide?' I
was really very happy."
The President, Ibadan Baptist Conference,
Reverend (Dr) Yemi Adekunle, in his prayers
for the family, prayed that their faith remains
unshaken and that God's favour will radiate not
just in the family but through all present.
For prayers, encouragement and for
witnessing the ceremony, the Pastor, First
Baptist Church, Ibafo, thanked and prayed for
God's blessings upon all.
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