My heart is heavy and just need someone to share with

Good day everyone NU, pls hide my ID and
post for me.
I'm a lady of 25 and will be 26 soon. I've never
been lucky with relationships and even right
now, I'm single.
My last relationship ended last year may and
was really heartbroken. When I date a guy, I
usually don't look at his pocket(don't date for
money) but see if he has what I desire in a
man cos I believe money is something that will
always come should he work hard and pray. It's
not like I look out for broke guys but of the
men who come my way they are the ones who
have what I desire in a man, hence, I date
them for who they are.
But whenever things begin to get better, they
start finding fault in me and eventually end
the relationship and I will end up not enjoying
even a kobo from them. It's not as if I want to
be depending on a man for survival but if the
ladies in the house will agree with me, there's
this joy that comes from the inside when a
man gets u a gift or perhaps give u money for
upkeep or help u pay some bills.
I've never received a gift or anything money
from a man not even on my birthdays(that's a
day I'm beginning to hate). I've graduated but
no good job yet, just teaching in a small school
with a very little pay. The money doesn't go
anywhere and nobody to even help me with
money when in need; I buy everything for
myself.
Even right now, my phone is bad and can no
longer apply for jobs or forward my CV to
those who ask for it, as usual, I have no one to
tell. I was thinking maybe its my character, but
everyone who knows me especially my male
friends have told me there's nothing wrong
with me that I'm a wife material and that my
weakness is not something a man can't cope
with.
Talking about my family assistance will be four
times of this write up.
Even the clothes I wear are all faded and can't
even afford the fairly used clothes sold in
markets. I'm just fed up of so many things;
sometimes the life isn't worth living.
I've been to prayer houses and was told
nothing is wrong with me and that I should be
patient and live a holy life that pleases God. I
go through a lot of things I can't even be
writing here now. My heart is heavy and just
need someone to share with. Thanks.
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